I can’t rock out with my cock out because I have finals next week
I’m gonna go learn how to make it rain
Letting a cow damage your spirit is not the best way to live
Don’t get tipsy off of grape juice
I have 3 foot long eyebrows
Being too fergalicious
Can nobody shear me?
Maybe thinking helps you kill somebody
I can’t make it tomorrow. I am legend.
Throwing a piñata to thirsty white girls
Screw you mom. I wanna get laid
Sleeping in to get a better understanding of how cheese works
Help! My weasel exploded!
Why is Santa so hot???? :/
Empire of the “Damn, son.”
How am I living with gorillas?
There’s nothing between me and free food
All you ever did was wreck my bootyhole
Golden Girls gone wild
how do u become famous without having any talent or becoming a Kardashian?????
Applying to become a snail
I wanna love the very best, like no one ever loved. To love them is my real test. To love them is my cause.
Too hot for ugly people but too ugly for hot people
Why is that shamwow talking to you?
p sure rebel wilson is my spirit animal
Don’t let wolves eat your children
Sending your dog’s nudes to your girlfriend
*throws great white shark at you*
Circus music is my lover
Being as sexy as Honey Boo Boo
does a vagina jiggle when u shake it?
Reblog if you were bigger than your mom when you were born
Simon says s̮̓̓ͩ̈ͯ̓ͯͦa̮̩͋́c̵̦̟̣̱̜̽̇ͫ͗͆̎̎͢r͔̘̿̏̓ͤͭ͊͢͞i͍͚̼̘̪̦̦̼̓ͪ̐́ͪ͘f͚ͥ̃́͘i̷̡̩̥̪̲̰̼ͧ̐͌͘c̭͍̣̪͈̼ͨe̗̪̽ͪͥ́ͦ͜͡ ̮͍̲̺̑ͧͯ̓ͬͨͤͪ̀͜ÿ͓͉́̇͑̒̅ͤ͗͟o̸̪̭͕͆ͬ͆̒͐͆͝ȕ̸̴͕̤̗̣̣ͬͣ̌ͨ̓̊̔̔r̒ͧ͒͐͆̊͒̈́͆͟҉̜̙͕̯͓͕͚̥ ̡̗̥͕̬͕́̎͋p̷͈̖̜̭̬̃ͦͥ͑͜ẻ̯̭̯̔̀͝t̤̘͈̻̤ͪͪ́͌͆̈́͜͟͟s͖̮͈̜͍̜̤̼̆ͬ͢ ͣ̂ͪ̈ͬ̚͜͏̵̳͔̞̥̺͖ṫ̨̧̲̙̩̹̻o̶̳͔̖̗͊̇̀ ̢̛̱͕̖͚̺͖͊͗̀̓ͮT̵̛ͭ̋̆̂͝ͅh̦̥̮͖͍̼̪̿͌͂ͣ͗̒̀e̺̻̝̭̺̬̲̼̖̽ͫ͛ͮͮ͗͢ ̨̮̙̞̠̦͍ͯ͆̾͑̂D̨̪̩͈͇͉͎̮̆̓̓͜ä̟͙̦̝͕̣̿ͧ̍͡r̷̤̝̮̻̰͌̋̇̉͌̚̚͜k̨̪͙͍͓̟̓ͨ̓̏̉̓͗̅͑ ̡̓̆̓̄ͪ̒͏̧̰L͖͚͊͜o̡͚͈̎̒ͣ̈͒̈ͦ́r͈̠͉̯̦̦͎̳ͯ̿̏̇̔ͤd̥͔̖̱̮̤̱̰̞ͩͦ̀̏̄
No woman, no clam chowder
What if I didn’t cut a bitch?
We should all start blogging about dog farts
why do small children find the need to scream when they’re being brutally murdered
Picking bellybutton lint out of your cat
I simply remember my favorite rings
To Raven Symone with gloves
Tasting your own breath
Tuna casserole has been known to speak to Korean Jesus
Unfollowers are actually dead
How do I live without juice?
Soccer moms dragged into space
Mushu is my secret lover
Extremely passionate about passion fruit
Pooping on sunshine